if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My vagina just recognized that song.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
