Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
