I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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