How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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