I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
