you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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