i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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