The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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