I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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