Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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