i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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