Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?

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(917): View more from New York City

I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!

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(719): View more from Colorado

Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.

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(440): View more from Ohio

i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean

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(719): View more from Colorado

I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED

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