drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
