brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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