I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
