I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
