I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
