I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
