Well douche your snatch and let's go!
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
