There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
