I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize