yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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