If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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