I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize