Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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