So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
