too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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