his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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