I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
