I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize