if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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