Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
