Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
