Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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