you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
