so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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