He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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