It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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