Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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