Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I could fuck to npr.
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