there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
