Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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