dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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