3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
