Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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