She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
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