There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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