You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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