There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
