garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
not ubering you a puppy
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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