They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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