I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize