i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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