i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
