how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
