Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
